Ben's Thank You

A couple days ago, I had a thought that I would like to thank everyone specifically for all the things that they’ve done for us this past week. I’ve realized pretty quickly that this would be impossible. Instead I’m afraid a little mass thank you is going to have to suffice. Thank you to everyone who sent us notes, messages, emails, texts; who donated their time, their resources, their money; who prayed, thought about or sent us there well wishes or said nice things about us. We’re not sure how Brooke and I ended up with such amazing friends and family, but to say we’re both very grateful doesn’t begin to scratch the surface.

Yesterday was Wolfie’s memorial service. Many of you were there and many came from really far away just to support us. The Advent crew did such an amazing job with the service. I’m not sure we expected to feel so much comfort and closure from it, but we do.

Today, things get a little more real. We’re both not sure how the next week will be, but we’re not naïve enough to think the healing process is over. In actuality, it’s just beginning. But that doesn’t mean we’re not hopeful about the future.

Brooke was talking on the phone with one of her best friends the other day, and she said something that has really stuck with me. She said that everyone has been praying for a miracle, but who’s to say a miracle didn’t happen? Maybe it just wasn’t the kind of miracle we expected.

Unlike adults, legally establishing brain death in infants is difficult. Red tape, among other things, can make donating organs of newborns pretty tricky. In all honesty, I still don’t understand the details of why this is the case. When we realized that Wolfie wasn’t going to make it, being able to donate his organs became very important to us. Brooke and I could both be described as being a bit “granola” at times, and have been known to reuse or repurpose things that others were throwing away. Undoubtedly, this is a value we would have instilled in Wolfie at a young age as well. We know if he had been able to grow up, organ donation would have been important to him, as it’s important to us.

Even with our vocal support of wanting to be able to do this, Wolfie’s doctors warned us that there weren’t any guarantees that they’d be able to use more than his corneas, and maybe his heart valves. Brooke and I promised ourselves that even if we were only able to donate his corneas, we wouldn’t be disappointed, as the gift of sight is a great gift to be able to give.

On our last day with Wolfie, on Thursday, the doctors were able to declare that Wolfie was completely brain dead. Because of this, Wolfie was given an opportunity to potentially donate some of his organs. They still had a to draw blood and do a lot of tests, and we were told they would let us know what they were able use.

Late Friday evening, I spoke with the woman from Life Link (organ donation folks). She told us that Wolfie’s blood type and tissue compatibility made it slightly difficult to find matches for some of his organs. However, we were overjoyed to hear Wolfie’s heart was matched with a one month old. Maybe there will be a miracle somewhere in all this after all.